I don't know – you do your middle class, system-exploiting, pushy-parenting best to get your daughter into an up-and-coming state school that's already hoovered up millions of pounds of government money, been rebuilt by cool London architects, and kitted out with state-of-the art equipment. One that has gone from 0-60 in five years (where 60 is an 'Outstanding' from Ofstead, and 0 is, as one recent local school leaver put it, 'you wouldn't even send your dog there'). A school that now offers Latin, shares playing fields with a famous public school, and even has a house system, for Christ's sake. And what do they give you? Velcro ties!
